I try to "save people" not change them, but save them. I have always tried to date the wrong guys. The guys that are broken in some way, unavailable in one way or another or just "not that into me" Those are the ones I try to hold on to the most. If you tell me your broken, BIG MISTAKE to me thats a cry for help and I cant let go until you are "fixed"
If you dont have any issues or if you treat me "too good".. I lose interest and find a way out
When Im not able to "fix" you I get very disappointed. Maybe disappointed in you at first, but then ultimately disappointed in myself for not living up to my unrealistic expectations of myself for not being able to save you.
Some of you maybe thinking, well who is he to think he is able to fix anyone.. I NEVER said I was perfect.. Me trying to save someone is problem in itself, I AM admitting my faults as I figure them out. Thats important to be able to do, because until we can admit to ourselves that we have faults we can never never move past them. We all work our stuff out differently, I (unfortunately) do mine publicly here on my blog. Sometimes I wish I never had learned how to do this blog thing. But I know some of my friends get tired of listening to me talk about it all.
**SIGH**
A new friend sent me this poem today, I wanted to share it with you.
"It's true that we don't know what we've got until we
lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what
we've been missing until it arrives.
Giving someone all your love is never an assurance
that they'll love you back...! Don't expect love in
return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if
it doesn't, be content it grew in yours.
It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like
someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a
lifetime to forget someone.
Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth;
even that fades away. Go for someone who makes
you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark
day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart
smile.
May you have enough happiness to make you sweet,
enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to
keep you human, enough hope to make you happy."
1 comment:
I will say this to you, my new friend and brother of Life...something that was told to me because I am the same.
People are broken because of reasons that are out of our hands.
Putting ourselves out there to be a buffer for someone else's problems and issues--it's like putting yourself in front of a speeding train, it's suicide. You burn yourself out because you set yourself up for high expectations and when they aren't met, you are lost.
I was once told once, "People don't like martyrs."
Something I don't truly believe but use as a reality check sometimes.
You need to heal yourself before you play doctor for someone else.
Much love to you, Kurtsy.
Big Cub hugs
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