Monday, October 19, 2009

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers

This week has been a crazy week for me. I have only written bits and pieces of everything happening this month. I will tell you everything in time, but for now just the important stuff.

Early last week I received an email from someone on my friends list that I had never met or "spoke" with. I remember sending him a friend request cuz hes HAWT.. anyway his email was so sweet and went on (and on) to tell me of his past trials and troubles in life and how I maybe able to apply my current issues to his solutions. It brought me to tears then and still does. i haven't been able to properly reply to his email because I simply cant get through it with out bawling..

Weve had some brief interaction throughout the weekend and today. The best interaction came this past weekend. Saturday night I went to bed around 10pm, when I woke up Sunday at 6AM I noticed I had a text that came in at 2AM saying "Kurt go to bed" LOL i replied and a couple hours later I received a response saying OMG Im so sorry, I saw you posted something on Facebook and I thought you were awake.. I was so drunk!" LOL I was so flattered that someone cared enough about a strangers well being to send an email as he did. AND then to find my phone number on Facebook and send me a text message. There was a text today asking me to smile.. I sound like I'm gushing over this guy and ya maybe I am, but I'm cool with that, its nice to feel like someone cares about my well being, plus he has a boyfriend and I am in NO place to make googly eyes at someone right now. Its just a great feeling to know there are good people out there that just care about people like this, people that are connected to others and care about perfect strangers. This is the type of people I am used to in my life. Considerate, polite people...

So today, I am sitting at home watching The View with one eye opened (Elisabeth was back today) and my phone rang.. WOW another surprise. A totally different person that I had NEVER met and maybe barely interacted with from Facebook called me to give me his support and encouraging words. He told me of his 15 year relationship and how just shortly after they broke up his ex-lover died.. HOW THE FUCK can I feel badly about my situation compared to this persons situation? Well he quickly put me at ease telling me the amount of time you are with someone should have no bearing on the strength of your feelings (I am paraphrasing) Can you imagine? Someone going through the emotions of a 15 year relationship calling me to give me some words of encouragement? I was blown away.

This afternoon on Facebook I posted this status update.

Would you (my friends) prefer I not post my true feelings here? would you rather I post meaningless vague stuff and pretend im happy?

wow I never expected the comments to come in like they did. I have some friends with very strong opinions. One friend really didnt like the fact that I used Facebook to air my emotions and feelings. Some of my other friends went on the defensive (for me) against him. But honestly I didnt have a problem with what he had to say, I was prepared for all types of comments, I actually thought more people would think as he did. If EVERYONE told me what I wanted to hear I would never make any progress. I have a feeling he has hidden my status updates, I'll have to remember to email him when I get passed my current issues and let him no its "safe" to un-hide me. :-)

Today started out SHITTY, but its ending on a much happier note, thanks to the kindness of strangers.
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