I have a few good days and a few more bad days, at times I wonder if I will ever be completely out from under this dark cloud. Im not living the life I want to live, I dont know that I will ever be completely happy again. Im miserable, Im fat, Im lonely and Im not doing anything to get better, I just have set back after set back.. If it weren't for my cat I probably wouldn't smile some days. I was going on walks with my friend Jeffrey but Im tired of those walks. The only thing they do is help take up some time during the day.. Id rather lay on the couch then walk around the park.
I know that sometimes just sitting here with my thoughts are not good, they do start to go to dark places, but thats when I just go to sleep. Ive been trying to get to my Moms house for a week now, at first it was my anxiety that kept me from going, now I just dont have the energy or motivation to drive up there. Theres not a whole to do there either so Id just be doing the same thing there Im doing here..
Well see what tomorrow brings, maybe Ill get the motivation to go there for the weekend.
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