Saturday, March 27, 2010

What happened to the passion?

I used to be passionate about stuff. Now I dont even care.

I used to be passionate about causes, I used to have a passion for my work, Ive been passionate about people at times. Now I dont care much about anything, Ill go days without getting off the couch, showering, or at times even brushing my teeth.

Sometimes I take the worlds problems on as my own, I start to get in this thought process that I hate the direction the country or the world is going and it really starts to get me down. It can be triggered by something as small as people not using a turn signal to something as big as a national election. So rather than get myself goin on a downward spiral of hating stuff, i chose to just not think about it. But that brings me to the place I am now.. Not feeling anything at all. Or maybe its all these pills the Dr has me on right now. Whatever it is its not working.. This entire week Ive been down in the dumps, not wanting to leave my couch and do anything..

I dont know what the point of this blog post was, I know everyone on Facebook is tired of hearing me bitch, last night some asshole called me a messy drama queen.. Ive never even met this guy, he lives in Columbus, Ohio.. He has no idea of my history or what I have been through. I promptly removed him as a friend after his little "tirade" on my status update, telling me how him and the rest of my friends were sick of hearing me go on and on. Ive taken a break from Twitter.. Ive posted a couple of things there but no one responds so I feel like Ive worn out my welcome there.

Its seems that the stuff I want a response to on Facebook gets nothing and the dumb "innocent" things i post causes a flurry of debate. Im thinkin i should maybe take a break from Facebook too? But then what would I do all day? My Psychiatrist thinks im looking to Facebook and Twitter for too much validation. Hes probably right, if it werent were Facebook I wouldnt even feel relevant at times

Right now Im supposed to be getting ready to go to my mothers house but I dont feel like going anywhere..
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