Monday, March 8, 2010

A little bit about HOW I am right now

So obviously I was a little annoyed this weekend and this morning due to the actions of some people that I dont even call friends. Im aware I shouldnt let them bother me but they do, sadly these people that are sayin shit about me to other friends or making remarks on Twitter are the same two people that I have had issues with in the past, one of them I had completely forgotten about until someone sent me a couple of his tweets this morning. Their actions continue to make them look foolish and for whatever reason continue to make me feel badly. They are both friends of someone I used to date. Funny enough I dont hate this guy anymore, Ive moved past all of that recently. The other night I reacted and sent a tweet out that I now wish I hadnt, and I am sorry I did it.

I truly feel that he (Cory) is sympathetic to my situation, Ive had some tough times emotionally in the last few months and he is well aware of all of that I have been through. I tried to kill myself a few months ago, MAYBE JUST MAYBE Im still struggling with how to cope in certain situations, and I truly believe Cory has gone out of his way not to do anything to upset me. Recently he had written about some emotional stuff he went through and it finally all clicked for me. Seeing him say he is vulnerable like everyone else helped me to realize that Im not the only one thats got issues. So i guess it really surprises me that his own roommate and another friend cant see what he sees, or that they continue to act in a manner that could "hurt" him. People WILL judge you by the company you keep.. Again his friends arent acting in HIS best interest when they talk to MY friends about me or post snide comments on Twitter.

I say how I feel and put it out there for everyone to know, Ive been better about not calling people out by their entire name, I even deleted some comments someone wrote about Jake because they used his last name, even though Jakes life is pretty out there for everyone to see anyway, His Facebook profile is ONCE AGAIN public and you can read see every comment and see every picture he posts. Chadd hides behind Twitter for some reason. Neither one of them has the balls or the decency to say how they feel to me or leave me a comment on my blog, etc etc. I think some people are fooled into thinking that if they dont say things publicly it makes them the bigger person. Well when youre talking shit about someone it doesnt matter HOW you do it.. it just matter who hears it or sees it. Kinda dumb to say it to mutual friends of mine dont ya think? But really guys weve been down this road already. Dont you see what it does to Cory? It causes him aggravation and if you are really his friend why would you want that for him. Im struggling with depression and some other issues so if I act in a way that you think isnt right or up to YOUR standards, just realize that I AM in therapy and I AM working on myself. Whats your excuse?
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