Wednesday, March 24, 2010

What else can I do

Im so tired of doing everything Im supposed to be doing and getting nowhere

I dont like my new therapist.. after 3 months of working with my last one I felt like I was finally getting somewhere before he died. This one I just dont think Ill bother going back to. i finally am warming up to my Psychiatrist, he actually took an interest in what Im telling him, he thinks Im looking to the wrong places for validation like Twitter and Facebook. He suggested I give one or both of them up for a while and see how it effects me. SO i decided to give up Twitter. its been a little over 24 hours now I do miss it a lot. I dont know how long I will be able to stay away from Twitter, Ive actually built some relationships there that have extended into real life.

A couple of weeks ago when I went to the Medi Cal office I was given a check list of all the things I needed to supply them by March 20th.. ALL of which completed, then today I get a letter in the mail with an additional list of items I need to supply by April 2nd. This list includes letters from my Doctors ALL of which I have seen already this month so now I have to make more appointments to see them and have these forms filled out.. This shit isnt easy..

Im also really feeling lonely again.. Most people just dont understand. I have TONS of friends and people to keep me busy but my body actually aches at times to be close to someone. As I type these words Im in tears. Im a cuddler and someone that requires the human touch. I feel bad for the first guy I start to date because im sure the first time we cuddle Ill start to cry from happiness.

Im feeling so down again this week.. I dont wanna do anything.. I just wanna lay here and watch TV.
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