Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Another bad day

So yesterday I thought that someone I "know" was secretly writing a blog that I consider to be hurtful and harmful to others. Read the story here.

Well I asked this person directly if it was him, I also sent an email to Cory letting him know of my thought on it being this person. Cory has been included in this persons blog, anyway Cory doesnt think it is him and the person I thought it was also convinced me it wasnt it. Diante also sent me a message saying that I was wrong. I was so convinced it was this person that I was in tears yesterday over it.

Cory sent me a couple nice emails yesterday and that should have made me feel better but I still had this dark cloud over me. I went on a walk with my friend Jeffrey but I was miserable the entire time. I got home and took a nap and then saw a client. Making a few bucks usually makes me feel better, but this time it didnt.

My day sorta got worse while I was on Facebook yesterday I saw that my BFF and Cory were new friends, they had been Facebook friends when we were dating and during the fallout Cory removed her..I understand that, thats natural.
Cory told me yesterday he knows that someday we will be friends again, but hes been giving me space to work on me. I follow his blog and we have many mutual friends in common so I know enough of what he is up to (hes been dating someone) that doesnt bother me at all, (although I wish I was dating someone life is so tough going through all of this with out some hugs and cuddling.) But last night the BFF told me what she and Cory had briefly chatted about, it was all pretty general until the part when he told her that he spent Sunday on the couch with his boyfriend. OK I already knew that he had a boyfriend but why did he tell her??? AWKWARD!!! She said she felt a little uncomfortable, and I can understand why.. This is MY best friend!!! One moment he tells me hes giving me space the next hes sending a friend request to MY best friend tellin her whats goin on in his life. Part of me is a little jealous that he and I aren't to that point yet. But Im just not ready.. Now Cheri is upset because she thinks SHE did something wrong by accepting the friend request and chatting with him, but in all honesty I feel Cory slightly crossed the line there. He put her in an awkward position and now people are feeling bad because of a few words he said. I dont feel he did anything to intentionally hurt me but I AM hurting a little bit over this. Now I feel like the progress that was made yesterday from his emails have been canceled out.

Thank God I have therapy and I see my Dr today because right now I feel like crawling back into bed and staying there the rest of the week.
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