Friday, May 21, 2010

Let me clarify something

I think some people are confused as to what my blog is about. My blog has always been and will always be somewhere that I express my FEELINGS. They might be feelings that have built up over a period of time, or they be feelings Im still not clear on and writing them down helps me work through them.

I had a few private comments on my last blog, one person said he completely agreed with what I said, one person said happy to see you working through your feelings here and one person said they thought it was mean spirited and unnecessary. So I bet you can figure out the reason why Im writing THIS blog today. I can deal with the opinion of being mean spirited (it was not how it was intended) but to say it was unnecessary? well that has bothered me all week, so now I am writing about it (see how it works) The person that said that has been a friend for many years and I know he has great love for me and he truly only wants the best for me. He is afraid of me looking foolish, pathetic, etc etc. I know he is reading this and I just wanna tell him.. I love you! Im only writing about this to get it off my chest, after this I wont think about it again. I have a hard enough time pleasing myself, Ive learned Ill never please everyone else.

At the museums on Tuesday we were joking about how I should start a blog like Gossip Girl, an anonymous blog so I can truly say what I want to about people and not get any backlash. But see THAT would be mean spirited and thats not my intention here.

Today I am experiencing something that i can only laugh at. Bitchy status updates on Facebook by people that are so easily influenced by others words and opinions. Whats sad is this person is unaware of the fact that some of the people he is listening to right now are the same people that talk about him behind his back. This guy is sweet and wants to have friends so badly that it seems he is willing to do whatever it takes to get friends, but over the last month or so Ive learned he plays both sides of a situation and just lets people hear what they wanna hear. I dont have time for that kind of shit, but I cant really be angry at him, I think he is just trying to make friends and I think he is just doing what he thinks is right in order to do so.

See now writing this blog has really helped me, I was sort of worried that I was going through friends rather quickly, but in reality what is happening is that it takes time for people to reveal their true authentic selves to you, and when they do you either like the person they are or you dont. I have met a lot of new people in the past few months, some of them I really like and some of them as I learn more about them I realize they are just not people I mesh with. I know there are people I have met that just dont like me either.. Thats the way life works. One of the differences with me is I wont act phony about it and pretend I like someone "just because".. I figure it out and move on rather quickly.
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