Saturday, May 1, 2010

Cleaning house with no regrets/always go with your gut instinsts

I dont know if its a certain age you reach or just a certain point in life, where you just make an unconscious decision to no longer deal with other peoples drama and bullshit.

In the past couple of months I have made choices to no longer deal with people after they have exhibited behavior thats either dramatic or irrational, or just simply straight up lying. I instantly wipe them away and I have no regrets about it at all.
Ive recently done this with 2 friends of mine, and I truly have not second guessed my decision or regretted it one bit.

Today I came to the realization that my best friend and I would no longer be best friends. Im not going to write about all of our issues here, because to be quite honest I dont really know what happened she just suddenly stopped communicating with me, at first it hurt my feelings but after she didnt reply to 2 text messages 2 days in a row and ignored me when she walked into Baja Bettys, I finally sent her an email, that said "you wanna tell me why you arent replying to me?" well she replied to the mail and her response was I have nothing to say to you. .. Well thats all I needed to hear.. Dont need the drama thanks. Like I said Im not gonna go on about it here. I dont need to get it all off my chest, I am surprisingly feeling OK about this, I mean I would be lying if I said it didnt bother me a little bit, after all I am up at 3:45 writing a blog post about it. But i think my current anxiety was caused by her blocking me from reading her wall on Facebook last night, So just to make it easier on her I removed her as a friend, but sent her an email telling her why.

Its going to be weird not having a "best friend" anymore but I also feel like there is this huge weight lifted off of me. Its hard to explain with out saying too much about how our relationship was. But i feel a small sense of relief and freedom.

I do know that I have SO many friends that I enjoy spending time with that I have probably neglected because I was always with my "Best Girl" Just this afternoon I hung out with two friends, one of which I have known longer than my old BFF and another friend Ive known almost as long and I thought WOW I've really been missing out on interacting with other people I enjoy, people that dont need constant attention or reassuring that they look good, or crying because some girl looked at them wrong, or any other issues that come up with straight girls... sorry to all my straight girl friends but its true, y'all can be a lot of work.

Yesterday morning my friend Jeffrey reminded me that I need to worry more about me instead of other people, he and I both agree that its a sad way to be and against both of our nature to not worry about other people.. But with all that I have been through in the past 6 months it really is the best way for me to handle things.

Well I guess thats all for now. Gonna see if I can sleep a couple hours before my 7AM client shows up
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