Maybe because I have felt so much loss during my life, beginning with all of the different animals I have had since childhood, to both sets of Grandparents, and both of my parents. Maybe I don't feel death the same as everyone else.
Especially if someone is suffering, Id rather they slip away than be in any pain or discomfort. But the real pain and discomfort comes after death, when the vultures come out and people show their true colors.
Maybe people perceive me as being controlling or making something all about me because when someone dies I am all about getting things taken care of. When Dad died, I cleaned out his closet less than 2 weeks after his death. The property Grandma left me was cleaned out and sold within a couple of months of her death. I cleaned out moms room 2 weeks after she died, then went through all of her paper work the following week. I'm a task master... I get it done, and the more there is to do, the faster you have to work.
Being the closest one to San Diego with the most time available I offered to do some of this leg work and help find a mortuary, helped with obituaries, helped find a location that Dave would like for his celebration dinner. I've spent at least 20 hours working on a memory book of Dave for his father, and I have enjoyed every moment. I know what my talents are, so I put them to use. I've very creative, and every one knows my experience in planning events for 10 to 1 million people.
Others don't handle death so well, They sometimes immediately go balls out on continuing their lives. Partying very often, getting tricks / special friends before the body is even cold. I could go on and on about that topic but it really serves no purpose. Luckily this situation will resolve itself by the end of August, and God willing maybe sooner than that.
I've known Dave about 20 years, I love Dave but I'm realistic about death, the grieving period will never completely be over. I think of him on a daily basis, but right now there are things to do. I realize its easier to play the victim and say everyone else is acting in a strange way so you don't get looked upon as the person that's acting strangely..
Were all born, we live as full of lives as we can, then we die. So instead of the drama surrounding death lets keep fondness in our hearts and respect for those that have been closest to the deceased.
“When someone shows you who they are believe them; the first time.”
If I had only listened to my gut feeling sooner, but you want your friend to be happy, or at least FEEL like he is happy. I didn't get to spend as much time with Dave the last year of his life, but the occasions we did spend together were fun filled.