Sunday, July 27, 2014

Life is a Balancing Act

Everyday we face a balancing act.  Family, friends, work, hobbies, social activities, keeping our homes, and hopefully our selves clean and sparkly.  Which route to take to get to point B faster, is parking easier over there instead of right here?  Were constantly weighing our options, hoping for the best outcome.

One of the things that I have to pay particularly close attention to is deciding how long can I involve myself in a situation before going bat shit crazy?  At what point do I decide to keep my big fat mouth shut and step away.   Faceboook has become such a detrimental tool for social situations.  Schools are actually teaching children how to interact on Facebook and other social media around the age of 9 or 10.  We continue using these tools to avoid communicating face to face with someone.  How will that help us later in life?  When we are on a job interview or a first date, will we know how to make eye contact?

Social Media is an addiction; we get highs and lows from it, sometimes both within a 10 minute time frame.
Like any other addict we feel like we cant live without it. In the beginning it was a great way to connect with old friends, make plans to get together, share our baby (or other type) of photos, stay connected with family members.  I still cant believe my Aunt Myrna knows how to use the computer, or that Nicole now has an iPad.  But at some point this "tool" started working against us.  We are socializing face to face less, getting in more arguments with people we don't even know.  We don't have to leave the house to know what's going on in the world or in our friends lives.  Its all right here in this little box with a screen.  For many people there is no point in making the effort to shower, get dressed, and leave the house to go meet friends face to face.

Facebook is like high school, in some cases a popularity contest.  A story gets posted and right away there is some one there to remind you... "didnt I say that last week?"   Or how many likes we get for a comment opposing the other persons point of view.  How many people shared my story?  "You know I posted that 2 weeks ago,  I was the first one to post it."  "I need to be the first person to comment" even though we haven't thought out the entire scenario or took into consideration all the facts.

For myself I've learned...OK still learning, when to step away from the computer.   Facebook isnt Thunderdome, its not life or death, there are no right or wrong answers in every situation.  We share our opinions and some people may agree, some may not.  We know this every time we post something.   It's a choice we make, we weigh out the options; is this topic really worth getting my blood pressure up and fighting with people over opinions, or should I just keep it to myself and "know" that my opinion is the only one that matters TO ME.

A couple of years ago there wasnt a therapy session in which I didnt mention Facebook or Twitter and how someone pissed me off.  Now I bite my tongue more, I remove the toxic people entirely (or just hide them if they are friends)  Im open to hearing different points of view and I may even have small debates with someone, but if it starts to get heated I suggest we talk about it later in person.. Well of course if they are a real life friend, if they are someone I have never met then they can just go scratch.

Real life is a balancing act and Social Media is now part of real life, you have to ask yourself.  "Is this the person I want to be portraying in society?  Is this who or how I want to be known as?  Believe me I know first hand what Social Media can do to your personal reputation.  Use it wisely, or maybe use it less.  But don't be that person that everyone says is "crazy" because of a simple story on some random website, or because you don't agree with someone elses views on politics or religion.  Healthy debate is good, name calling, arguing and going for someones jugular (virtually of course) isn't worth it.  There are so many words I have said that I wish I could take back now because I didn't stop and fully think it out first.

Maybe I should start a new Facebook Group Page.   "A kinder Gentler Facebook"  Because this bitch of a website gets on my damn nerves sometimes!!!


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