Sunday, August 8, 2010

I fall too fast, I think too much

So I've been hanging out with someone a little over a month or so. We dont say we're dating, we aren't boyfriends, we are just spending time together. Ive gotta say its been a great experience for me. Ive learned so many things about myself, self control, sharing, caring, not sharing too much, not caring too much, Paying him enough attention, but not paying him too much attention. There are a lot of unwritten rules when you aren't really dating someone. Its a great test for your confidence and self control. Going out dancing or to a bar with friends is always a new experience, I mean we don't hang on each other, we give each other space to "do our thing" but at times jealousy can creep in and you wanna punch the drunk guy tryin to make out with your date. Theres also been times where one of us feels like we were being "ignored" a little. But I just have to take a deep breath and remember hes arrived with me and hes leaving with me. Sometimes that's difficult for me, but I'm learning. Another thing we discussed early on was keeping things private. I'm sure he is sitting here reading this blog and CRINGING! However I think its become pretty obvious to people that we are hanging out together quite often.

And another thing,what do you call this person? We've gone over all the terms we DON'T like, but we haven't really come up with one that works. We started out saying cuddle buddies, then I jokingly started calling him my "Man-friend" which is cute and fun, but it also sounds to much like boyfriend. I asked the question on Twitter of what I should call him and I got a couple responses. One person said call him your friend, which he is but there are things we do together that I don't do with any of my other friends. Someone suggested just calling him by his name, but there are reasons that hasn't really worked either.

We communicate wonderfully, he isn't afraid to tell me things that he doesn't like when I do them, or give me his opinion when its different than mine, he is SO considerate to my friends and whats going on in their lives, and to me that's HUGE! He is very generous to me, especially with his time. OK I'm realizing I am starting to go on a little bit too much and its even makin me a little uneasy.

Ive been through a lot in the past year, its so nice to share some good times with a great guy! I cant ask for more nor do I need anything more right now. I have school starting in a couple of weeks and I will also have to find a part time job, Ill be lucky if I will be able to get to Baja Bettys on a regular basis, let alone have a lot of time to spend with my "man-friend", but if the desire to spend time together continues we will find a way. So far I think we've been on the same page with what we both want and need at this moment..

OK that's all for now.. I need a nap... (a real one this time)
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