I feel the need to further clarify somethings regarding the Turn Your Back on Carl DeMaio during San Diego Pride Parade 2014 "event" this year.
On June 14th via my blog post I completely gave up all rights and concern for the Turn Your Back to DeMaio Facebook page. I handed it over to someone I knew would continue on with the page in the tradition it was crated in.
The "event" this year was solely created by someone I do not know personally and have only recently noticed in our community.
I have to say I was very disappointed in the organizing and planning of this "event" Yes I gave up the reigns of this grass roots movement I created in 2012 but there was a major build up to the event, we educated the community on Carl's moves and motivations, we had pre-event press coverage, I also did my research to make sure Carl was even going to be in the parade. To my knowledge he wasn't even in attendance this year, if he was he was very well hidden. I'm not a Carl supporter now, but doing something like this just for the sake of doing it is a waste of time and energy. We made a great impact in 2012 with national news coverage and this year it was a total flop. The national and international press continues to educate the public about Carl DeMaio, I appreciate that David Lundin is a watchdog for the community, but I think he has his iron in too many fires. I can say proudly that we actually achieved something in 2012. This year this "event" was just embarrassing. Now with that being said lets move forward Scott Peters elected in the 52nd district.
Sunday, July 20, 2014
Tuesday, July 15, 2014
“No one has ever become poor by giving.” ― Anne Frank
Charity, people have different ideas about what or who is worthy of their time, money, experience, etc.
But today I'm focusing on the charitable aspect of giving money.
In the county of San Diego we have hundreds if not thousands of charities. If you can think of a reason to give I guarantee there is somewhere you can donate your hard earned dollars to. Children, Elderly, Religion, Health Care, Homeless, LGBT, Veterans, Research, Mental Health, Science, Animals....I could go on all day listing the different types of charitable organizations.
However there is always the question of how much of each dollar goes directly to the needs of the charity vs the administrative costs, employees, etc. But what about when you hand some spare change to someone homeless on the street? How much of that goes to food vs drugs or alcohol? Many homeless people suffer from some type of Mental Illness, so drugs and alcohol for them are just a temporary way of self medicating. Homelessness is an entire blog topic on its own so let me try and stay on track here.
Over the past 2 decades that I have been volunteering for and working at non profit organizations I have seen a vivid picture of what individuals think is important and worth them writing a check. There are some people that donate large sums of money simply for a tax write off, some that give because they believe in the goal that you are working towards. I've seen people raise money in many different ways. Shave their heads, strip, sing, dance, twerk, werk, and just put themselves out there and say I have nothing to offer you, but can you help me to help these other folks in need. I also may have seen or taken part in someone donating a $100 on an Alaskan bar crawl to reach down a certain persons pants. But let me get back on track once again, which brings me to my next thought about "giving".
Recently one of my front teeth broke off, I was devastated. My smile is a HUGE part of me, my personality shines and I am confident, willing to put myself out there. After seeing that a woman created a Go Fund Me page for a boob job I figured my smile was just as important to me as her boobs were to her. And it worked, you gave me back my smile. Ill require much more dental work in the future but for now I am smiling from ear to ear. Im not sure what it was that made people reach into their wallets and donate to me (not a tax write off). Not only was I able to replace the tooth but I had raised enough money to "upgrade" to a tooth that is more realistic looking and will consistently match any other teeth that might need replacing in the future.
Yesterday I saw a Facebook friend who I have never met post a funding page for a shed for his home. There are some very valid reasons behind his decision to ask publicly for help. Some of which he shared personally with me, some of which he posted in his funding page. But he is taking a chance that his friends will lend a hand, he is also taking a chance that some people will judge him and say there are people starving in this world and you need a shed? I know what courage it takes to ask for money for yourself, for something personal. I have no problem at all asking strangers for money when it comes to a charitable cause or organization. But when its for something personal? Well that's much different. There is a feeling of shame no matter how strong your need is.
I must be the luckiest guy on earth because I have had many friends over the past few years help me with bills, rent, telephone payments, groceries, rides to and from where ever. Some of these things I have had to ask for and some of these people would just come to me and ask how much is your phone bill?
Shortly I will be receiving a small amount of money from the sale of my fathers cemetery plot I fully intend to PAY IT FORWARD.. Pay it forward, just do it. Buy a coffee for someone in line behind you at Starbucks, use those 2 for 1 coupons at the fast food joint and give the other to someone in need. Tip that food server, or anyone else providing a service 50% just once. If everyone were to pay it forward imagine how many smiles we would see each day.
Here is the link to a page of someone I have never even met who is in need. Can you pay it forward today?
Home is Where Your Heart Is
But today I'm focusing on the charitable aspect of giving money.
In the county of San Diego we have hundreds if not thousands of charities. If you can think of a reason to give I guarantee there is somewhere you can donate your hard earned dollars to. Children, Elderly, Religion, Health Care, Homeless, LGBT, Veterans, Research, Mental Health, Science, Animals....I could go on all day listing the different types of charitable organizations.
However there is always the question of how much of each dollar goes directly to the needs of the charity vs the administrative costs, employees, etc. But what about when you hand some spare change to someone homeless on the street? How much of that goes to food vs drugs or alcohol? Many homeless people suffer from some type of Mental Illness, so drugs and alcohol for them are just a temporary way of self medicating. Homelessness is an entire blog topic on its own so let me try and stay on track here.
Over the past 2 decades that I have been volunteering for and working at non profit organizations I have seen a vivid picture of what individuals think is important and worth them writing a check. There are some people that donate large sums of money simply for a tax write off, some that give because they believe in the goal that you are working towards. I've seen people raise money in many different ways. Shave their heads, strip, sing, dance, twerk, werk, and just put themselves out there and say I have nothing to offer you, but can you help me to help these other folks in need. I also may have seen or taken part in someone donating a $100 on an Alaskan bar crawl to reach down a certain persons pants. But let me get back on track once again, which brings me to my next thought about "giving".
Recently one of my front teeth broke off, I was devastated. My smile is a HUGE part of me, my personality shines and I am confident, willing to put myself out there. After seeing that a woman created a Go Fund Me page for a boob job I figured my smile was just as important to me as her boobs were to her. And it worked, you gave me back my smile. Ill require much more dental work in the future but for now I am smiling from ear to ear. Im not sure what it was that made people reach into their wallets and donate to me (not a tax write off). Not only was I able to replace the tooth but I had raised enough money to "upgrade" to a tooth that is more realistic looking and will consistently match any other teeth that might need replacing in the future.
Yesterday I saw a Facebook friend who I have never met post a funding page for a shed for his home. There are some very valid reasons behind his decision to ask publicly for help. Some of which he shared personally with me, some of which he posted in his funding page. But he is taking a chance that his friends will lend a hand, he is also taking a chance that some people will judge him and say there are people starving in this world and you need a shed? I know what courage it takes to ask for money for yourself, for something personal. I have no problem at all asking strangers for money when it comes to a charitable cause or organization. But when its for something personal? Well that's much different. There is a feeling of shame no matter how strong your need is.
I must be the luckiest guy on earth because I have had many friends over the past few years help me with bills, rent, telephone payments, groceries, rides to and from where ever. Some of these things I have had to ask for and some of these people would just come to me and ask how much is your phone bill?
Shortly I will be receiving a small amount of money from the sale of my fathers cemetery plot I fully intend to PAY IT FORWARD.. Pay it forward, just do it. Buy a coffee for someone in line behind you at Starbucks, use those 2 for 1 coupons at the fast food joint and give the other to someone in need. Tip that food server, or anyone else providing a service 50% just once. If everyone were to pay it forward imagine how many smiles we would see each day.
Here is the link to a page of someone I have never even met who is in need. Can you pay it forward today?
Home is Where Your Heart Is
“You have not lived today until you have done something for someone who can never repay you.”
― John Bunyan
― John Bunyan
Sunday, July 13, 2014
Is it Possible for Something Good to Come From Death???
There
is something about seeing someone physically deteriorate before your eyes. that is somewhat life
changing.
In the past I've seen
people I know slowly deteriorate from AIDS, from drug abuse, Cancer, and I
imagine other unknown ailments. But for whatever reason those didn’t have
the same affect on me as what I have experienced in the past two years. The two people I have
witnessed die before my eyes were both very very different experiences but both were people I loved.
The first was my mother, we found out she had Cancer and was given 6
months to live, as her illness progressed there were mild signs that turned
into larger obstacles with day to day activities. Until her final night when I was holding her
hand as she took her last breath.
The
second, and most recent was my friend of many years, Dave.
At first we thought it was just jaundice because he was turning yellow,
which turned into orange, and then we found out his liver and kidney were both
failing. He went in and out of different facilities, went home for a short time
but his illness progressed quickly and beyond the scope of the doctors’
abilities to save his live.
Mom’s
death affected me to a point where I thought I couldn’t live without her, and I
attempted to end my life. Mom died of
lung cancer. She was a smoker for many
years but for the last 13 years of her life she did not smoke. The type of cancer she had was not directly attributed
to smoking. She was 74 years old when
she died.
Dave’s
death has had the opposite impact on me; I've actually wanted to take better
care of myself. . Dave’s illness was
something that could have been avoided, something he was warned about by his
doctors. Unfortunately Dave didn't take
the advice of his doctors, but I heard them loud and clear. Dave died at the age of 46 years old.
Although
the changes I’m making are slow, they are also deliberate. I eat healthier more often, including gross vegetables like broccoli, Brussels sprouts and eggplant, all of which I now find amazingly
delicious. I go walking in the morning. I have been drinking alcohol a lot less often. Watching Dave slip away so quickly helped me
FINALLY realize how easy it is to fall into bad patterns that can end your
life. I had much worse addictions than
Dave, but somehow I was lucky enough to make it through. I
was also by Dave’s bedside when he passed, way too young, way too soon. That could have just as easily been me.
So
last night Dave came to me in a dream, just the same as my mom, grandma, dad,
and most everyone else that has passed before me. The dream didn't make any sense; he wasn’t
bringing me any profound words of wisdom.
But it struck a thought in my mind that I scribbled down, which has
resulted in this blog post.
So
what’s the point I’m trying to make here?
I don’t even know. Just take care
of those close to you, force them to take better care of themselves. Watching someone you care about taking their
last breath is an image that will never escape your mind.
Saturday, July 5, 2014
It's Such a Perfect Day
Ever since I can remember I've been waiting for the perfect life. The perfect everything . Everything I do has to be perfect. Plans for the day, the place where I live, the perfect (for me) boyfriend, the perfect "standing" in my community, the perfect high, the perfect low, the perfect outfit, my hair, my makeup, The last three, could apply to both male or female identities. Anything with my name on it, anything I created HAD to be perfect. I was always chasing the perfect day.
What is perfect?
per·fect
Oh, it's such a perfect day
What is perfect?
per·fect
ˈpərfikt/
- 1.having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be."she strove to be the perfect wife"
synonyms: ideal, model,ultimate without fault, faultless, flawless, consummate,
quintessential, exemplary, best,
- 2.absolute; complete (used for emphasis)."a perfect stranger"
synonyms: absolute, complete, total, real, out-and out, thorough, thoroughgoing,downright, utter, sheer, arrant, unmitigated, unqualified, veritable, in every respect, unalloyed
- But obviously perfection is all based on our own individual perception and and then I learned it is also situational. Somewhere down the road perfection loosens up a bit. Your financial situation changes so you cant have the "perfect" clothes... But these clothes over here work "perfectly well" most everything seems to change to being "perfectly well". Then we move on to "good enough" "Well my hair isn't perfect but its good enough"
- Being a perfectionist is one of the worst possible ways to live. Expectations are high, not only of yourself but of everyone around you. Imagine the constant disappointment you would encounter each and every day by needing everything to be perfect and not being able to get it. I wonder if the ultra rich encounter as much disappointment as the every day person does? When you have everything at your disposal is life easier? Well I've been in a situation close to that and it SEEMS perfect. But as I have matured and my life has changed I learned that what I would consider perfect has dramatically changed.
Now, my idea of a perfect life is much different than it was say back in my twenties. Now, the perfect life (not my perfect multi million dollar Lotto winning life) but just my perfect life would be;
- Having a job to go to 5 days a week that I am passionate about (the passion part is non negotiable)
- Being able to call or see my mom whenever I wanted
- Having a special someone in my life, even part time would be wonderful.
- Friends...just the good ones.. a handful or two is plenty
- Being inspired.... by movies, music, good books, great art, and good people
- Yoga
- 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep
- Laughing everyday, even at myself.
- Having the knowledge that the above list can change at anytime.
- oh shoot...i almost forgot animals....especially Mr Kitty
OK, I'll admit I would like to be a little more stylish in my appearance, but that would be helped along by #1
Is that it? That;s all I need? That doesn't seem too difficult to me, except # 2 that one is out of my reach. But at this point in my life all of those other things listed seem very obtainable. Nine months ago I didnt even care about having anything on that list, sometimes I didn't even care about talking to Mom. I thought nothing good was going to happen for me. Many of the things on my list haven't happened (yet) but now I realize it is possible.
and THAT is perfect!
Oh, it's such a perfect day
I'm glad I spent it with youOh, such a perfect dayYou just keep me hanging onYou just keep me hanging on
Monday, June 30, 2014
My Alanis Morissette Years
I guess I might need to explain what the title means. Alanis was always dubbed "angry" and known as as the "Queen of alt-rock angst"
When I recently began blogging again I took a look at my past posts and WOW, I was an extremely angry and bitter person 4-5 years ago. This all began around the same time my depression started. I just didn't have any coping skills. I had been "self medicating" with drugs and sex for so long, when I finally stopped using I didn't know what it meant to truly have a "normal" reaction to situations. I would hang on to little things and make them in to HUGE issues for myself and others. I would also take on the worlds problems on my shoulders.. War, politics, bullying, senseless acts of violence. I felt responsible for everything. I wasn't doing enough to help the world. I felt helpless and hopeless and that made me feel very very angry.
I had actually gone through and hidden some of those blogs that were so awful, which you would think goes against everything I have ever felt about "if you cant stand by what you say, maybe you shouldn't have been saying anything in the first place." Except for the fact I shouldn't have been saying these things in the first place, but I went back through and re-posted those posts. It was a time in my life that I need to remember, a time in my live I never want to repeat.
Times haven't changed in the world, if anything they have gotten worse. In the last few years I have been through a lot but it wasn't until this past January (2014) when I became very sick and spent quite a bit of time in the hospital getting well, surgery, and just finally feeling confident enough to live life agan. I emerged out of my dark cocoon a free and happy little butterfly once again. Things still upset me but I have made a conscious decision to not participate in heated debates about politics, religion, and most other hot topics of the moment. Even today I posted a couple of things about the SCOTUS decision on Obamacare and birth control. I already regret posting those, but I have just decided not to participate in the debates happening.
When I find myself being treated badly by someone I simply remove them from the location where they place their soapbox, whether its real life or their online persona.
This morning a 12 year old boy (still allegedly) committed suicide while at Boy Scout camp here in San Diego. My heart was broken. These days I am concentrating my efforts on Mental Health issues. Suicide prevention, reducing stigma for those who suffer from Mental Illness, this is my passion. There have been times when someone has been so defiant in recognizing that depression means much more than just "having a bad day" that have made me angry but instead of fighting and arguing, I move on to the next person who is willing to be open minded, listen and make the effort to understand Mental Health. Now the issues I face I dont approach in an angry manner. I approach these situations with concern, love, sympathy and empathy.
This boy was 12 years old. Our healthcare system is failing our youth in the area of Mental Health.
So the point I am trying to make here is Mental Health is just as important as physical health, they actually go hand in hand. In those "Alanis" years I experienced I was physically frozen, not leaving the house for days, laying on the couch and sleeping on the couch for days. Being angry all the time is exhausting. I have given up the Jagged Little Pill Alanis was presenting me and traded it in for many other pills, but they are working. I rarely get angry anymore. I have recently reached out to people I used to consider a Nemesis to let them know I may not be an ally to them, but I'm no longer an aggressive foe. Life has become so much easier for me, and great things are starting to happen for me.
Although my body doesn't show it right now, I feel light and as free as a butterfly.
When I recently began blogging again I took a look at my past posts and WOW, I was an extremely angry and bitter person 4-5 years ago. This all began around the same time my depression started. I just didn't have any coping skills. I had been "self medicating" with drugs and sex for so long, when I finally stopped using I didn't know what it meant to truly have a "normal" reaction to situations. I would hang on to little things and make them in to HUGE issues for myself and others. I would also take on the worlds problems on my shoulders.. War, politics, bullying, senseless acts of violence. I felt responsible for everything. I wasn't doing enough to help the world. I felt helpless and hopeless and that made me feel very very angry.
I had actually gone through and hidden some of those blogs that were so awful, which you would think goes against everything I have ever felt about "if you cant stand by what you say, maybe you shouldn't have been saying anything in the first place." Except for the fact I shouldn't have been saying these things in the first place, but I went back through and re-posted those posts. It was a time in my life that I need to remember, a time in my live I never want to repeat.
Times haven't changed in the world, if anything they have gotten worse. In the last few years I have been through a lot but it wasn't until this past January (2014) when I became very sick and spent quite a bit of time in the hospital getting well, surgery, and just finally feeling confident enough to live life agan. I emerged out of my dark cocoon a free and happy little butterfly once again. Things still upset me but I have made a conscious decision to not participate in heated debates about politics, religion, and most other hot topics of the moment. Even today I posted a couple of things about the SCOTUS decision on Obamacare and birth control. I already regret posting those, but I have just decided not to participate in the debates happening.
When I find myself being treated badly by someone I simply remove them from the location where they place their soapbox, whether its real life or their online persona.
This morning a 12 year old boy (still allegedly) committed suicide while at Boy Scout camp here in San Diego. My heart was broken. These days I am concentrating my efforts on Mental Health issues. Suicide prevention, reducing stigma for those who suffer from Mental Illness, this is my passion. There have been times when someone has been so defiant in recognizing that depression means much more than just "having a bad day" that have made me angry but instead of fighting and arguing, I move on to the next person who is willing to be open minded, listen and make the effort to understand Mental Health. Now the issues I face I dont approach in an angry manner. I approach these situations with concern, love, sympathy and empathy.
This boy was 12 years old. Our healthcare system is failing our youth in the area of Mental Health.
So the point I am trying to make here is Mental Health is just as important as physical health, they actually go hand in hand. In those "Alanis" years I experienced I was physically frozen, not leaving the house for days, laying on the couch and sleeping on the couch for days. Being angry all the time is exhausting. I have given up the Jagged Little Pill Alanis was presenting me and traded it in for many other pills, but they are working. I rarely get angry anymore. I have recently reached out to people I used to consider a Nemesis to let them know I may not be an ally to them, but I'm no longer an aggressive foe. Life has become so much easier for me, and great things are starting to happen for me.
Although my body doesn't show it right now, I feel light and as free as a butterfly.
Thursday, June 26, 2014
Tijuana Dentist A Great Experience
Many of you have asked me for info about where I am going to get my dental work done, so I decided to just write it all out so it will always be available or you can even share it with some one else that might need it.
Many dental procedures are not covered by insurance, anything considered cosmetic like replacing one tooth isn't a big deal to insurance companies cuz hey ya got 31 more right?
I was refereed to Dr Landeros by my friend Courtney and they have a local 619 number and an English speaking employee that can book you an appointment and give you a very accurate quote over the phone.
The office is immaculate with brand new state of the art equipment, some of the staff including Dr Landeros speak English so you feel very comfortable when things are explained to you.
The way I get there is by the Trolley, it drops you off right at the US side of the border and all you have to do is about a 2 minute walk to get to the other side to where the cabs are waiting. Make sure you take a yellow cab and ask for a quote before you leave. It costs me $5 plus a buck or two for the tip.
Getting a cab back to the border is just as easy, the doctors office can either call or you walk a block up the hill to the main street where there are plenty of cabs. You need to took for a certain two tone color of cab because otherwise you could be sharing it with strangers, The office will tell you what to look for.
The cab will take you to the border crossing line. If the line is super long there will be people out there offering to take you to the front of the line for $5. This is legit, you just have to ask when are you leaving and again how much does it cost? I had a great experience doing this many times before and a terrible experience once many years ago because it was a LARGE bus they wanted to fill. Look for the smaller vans. Last time I went the line wasn't long enough for the vans to be in operation so I just waited in line for about 20-30 minutes.
I don't have a passport, I only have a valid California ID and a CERTIFIED copy of my birth certificate, they may ask you why you don't have a passport, I just told them Im on a limited income and cant afford it. The other couple of times they didn't even say anything. If you are disabled DONT wait in the disabled line, it goes super slow and the other regular public line goes much faster.
The Name of the dental clinic is Smile Art TJ (there is a photo of the Mona Lisa on their sign)
Dr Landeros
Phone number is 619-734-2358
I have never had their address, I have only told the cab driver I need to go to Plaza Minarete
near Sams Club and iHop and never had a problem getting there.
Make sure you tell them I sent you cuz I know Im gonna need a lot of dental work in the future, maybe they'll give me a break.
ENJOY!!
Many dental procedures are not covered by insurance, anything considered cosmetic like replacing one tooth isn't a big deal to insurance companies cuz hey ya got 31 more right?
I was refereed to Dr Landeros by my friend Courtney and they have a local 619 number and an English speaking employee that can book you an appointment and give you a very accurate quote over the phone.
The office is immaculate with brand new state of the art equipment, some of the staff including Dr Landeros speak English so you feel very comfortable when things are explained to you.
The way I get there is by the Trolley, it drops you off right at the US side of the border and all you have to do is about a 2 minute walk to get to the other side to where the cabs are waiting. Make sure you take a yellow cab and ask for a quote before you leave. It costs me $5 plus a buck or two for the tip.
Getting a cab back to the border is just as easy, the doctors office can either call or you walk a block up the hill to the main street where there are plenty of cabs. You need to took for a certain two tone color of cab because otherwise you could be sharing it with strangers, The office will tell you what to look for.
The cab will take you to the border crossing line. If the line is super long there will be people out there offering to take you to the front of the line for $5. This is legit, you just have to ask when are you leaving and again how much does it cost? I had a great experience doing this many times before and a terrible experience once many years ago because it was a LARGE bus they wanted to fill. Look for the smaller vans. Last time I went the line wasn't long enough for the vans to be in operation so I just waited in line for about 20-30 minutes.
I don't have a passport, I only have a valid California ID and a CERTIFIED copy of my birth certificate, they may ask you why you don't have a passport, I just told them Im on a limited income and cant afford it. The other couple of times they didn't even say anything. If you are disabled DONT wait in the disabled line, it goes super slow and the other regular public line goes much faster.
The Name of the dental clinic is Smile Art TJ (there is a photo of the Mona Lisa on their sign)
Dr Landeros
Phone number is 619-734-2358
I have never had their address, I have only told the cab driver I need to go to Plaza Minarete
near Sams Club and iHop and never had a problem getting there.
Make sure you tell them I sent you cuz I know Im gonna need a lot of dental work in the future, maybe they'll give me a break.
ENJOY!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)