Life Update

I've posted a couple of blogs but nothing serious since January of 2015.

That blog I was moaning about being sick, and how I had nothing to do, it was almost my birthday, and I had nothing to look forward to when I got over that damn flu.  I hadn't heard from that job that I wanted, and I decided I was just going to have to be one of the millions of Americans that go to work every day hating what they do.   Then 3 hours later the phone rang.  The organization I had been talking to for six months, the one I wanted to work for called to offer me the position.  They asked when I could come in to finalize things, and I chose January 12th, my birthday; 3 days later I began work.  Things have been AMAZING, I have met some wonderful people, I have people seeking me out to share my knowledge, and input.  I'm also learning a lot from others that I work with, both with my company and from all of the boards and committees I sit on.  At times, it's hectic and not perfect but it is beyond what I had even hoped for with this job.

So, many of you may know that I now work in the mental health field.  I am the LGBTQ outreach coordinator for Mental Health America of San Diego County.  It's a national organization with affiliates all over the United States.  It's the job I dreamed of for some years; I get to work in my community and work in a field that is very personal to me.   In June, my boss asked me to attend our national conference in Washington DC, which was a great honor considering I had only been with MHASD for less than six months.  It was a great experience, and I look forward to attending many more conferences in the future.  I LOVE to travel.

My job is to serve the un-served and underserved people within the LGBTQ community in all of San Diego County.  I do suicide prevention training, Introduction to Mental Health presentations.  I've worked with homeless youth, LGBT seniors, parents of Transgender children and so much more.  I also give an LGBTQ 101 presentation to groups and organizations that need a little bit of help learning about the specific needs of the LGBTQ community when it comes to mental health issues.  I go to resource fairs to have conversations with people and pass out information about our programs, as well as providing resources and referrals. I sit on a number of committees focusing on LGBTQ youth,  I attend monthly Suicide Prevention Council Meetings, and I was recently appointed to the Mayor's LGBT Advisory Board because of my work in the mental health field.  One of the things I enjoy doing most is advocating for my community, so often the LGBTQ community is not even mentioned, treatment facilities are not Trans* friendly or sensitive.  I speak up whenever I can, I'm trying not to be that annoying guy that's always raising his hand asking a question, but I care about people in my community, and I want to make sure we aren't forgotten.

Something I wasn't expecting was having so many friends looking to me for help and advice.  It truly blows me away that I went from a place of attempting to end my own life to now helping so many other people. I have Facebook friends I have never met reaching out, friends from junior high school asking me for advice for their adult children.  It's a great feeling, although it gets overwhelming at times, it is rare that I have a day that I am not discussing mental health issues with someone.
One thing that has been somewhat challenging is working in an office with so many different people and personalities.  Back when I was working in skin care, I worked alone in a quiet environment.  Office life isn't completely foreign to me; I've worked in corporate environments before; it's just been awhile.  OH and having a cubicle!!!  I NEVER thought I would be that guy nor did I want to be, but of course I decorated the heck out of it, filled it with gayness and, of course, some peacocks.  I'm not often in my cubicle.  I'm supposed to doing outreach and of course presentations, so that gets me out of the office.  I need to step my game up there; I do a lot of outreach via telephone and email though.  It is not so easy just walking into a business or organization and doing a "cold call" about mental health.


The past six months have flown by, I'm probably the happiest I have been in years, I find my work very fulfilling and I know that I am making a difference in people's lives.

That's not to say that I don't have my low moments.  I still LIVE WITH depression, but, for the most part, its manageable.  Sometimes I get overwhelmed when I have too many things on my plate, or if there are many issues of conflict going on around me.  But self-care is something that the people around me really understand, and if I need to leave the office early to go to the Chiropractor or even go home and curl up in bed and nap, I'm able to do so.  I work a lot of hours outside of my regular 9-5 schedule, so I have plenty of time "in the bank" to use when I need.

My close friends often tell me how proud they are of me and how far I have come.
I am always appreciative when I hear encouraging words from friends.  It's especially nice when people that are more than acquaintances but not quite "close" friends tell me how happy they are for me and acknowledge my journey.   Yeah, I know I share EVERYTHING on Facebook, but I don't always know who is paying attention.

Well, I don't know what else to say here except thank you to everyone that had faith and believed in me.  For those that never thought I could be in the position I am in now, I say SUCK IT!  Those people had nothing to do with me wanting to try harder to prove them wrong.  Someday they will be asking for my help, and I'm happy I am in now in a position where I can help them.

The War Hasn't Ended!!

The very first March on Washington in 1979 was known as "National March on Washington for Lesbian and Gay Rights" the 1987 March used the same name.

The 1993 march was "March on Washington for Lesbian, Gay and Bi Equal Rights and Liberation."

Our community was growing at a rapid rate, and our national vision was doing the best it could to keep up.

In 1992, I was elected to the National Steering Committee as a regional delegate for the 1993 March on Washington.   I travelled the country to national meetings to help shape what the 1993 March on Washington would become.  It was at one of these meetings in 1992 that I first heard the word "Transgender" we were in the middle of the planning process.  Everything was in place, with logo design, march demands, and logistics, and including the word "Bi" instead of Bisexual, so we didn't "sexualize" the event.  We had the endorsement of the NAACP, which was the first time we had a direct connection with the LGB(T) movement and the civil rights movement.

We were approached at a meeting by members of the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence to include the T in the LGB portion of the march's name. With committee members from all over the country including small towns, the word Transgender was new to many of us.  I had just started doing drag, and I was being told that I was "Transgender"  I stood at that meeting and said "hell no I'm not!!  I'm not Trans anything; I am a guy that wears makeup and a dress!!   How dare you push a label on me!"  Everyone has a different journey, a different sense of who they are.  How do these nuns tell me who I am or how I identify!!

It was decided not to change the name of the march but what we did do was change our list of demands to include Transgender people, so that we could meet the needs and desires of our community.  The community spoke, and we listened.  This was a great accomplishment considering some of these meetings would have 45-minute discussions on what food to serve at the next meeting.


So PLEASE know, we haven't forgotten you, we haven't left your side or dropped out of line behind you in your lead.  So for those of you that feel like "the bus has left without you" or that no one cares about the greater picture than "gay marriage".  All I can say is that I am sorry you feel that way. I don't recall anyone saying "OK let us pack up the "activism box" we're all done now" Some of us know that there is still discrimination in many states in the country. You can still be fired from your job or evicted from your home because of your sexual orientation or gender identity. Schools may expel your child, parental rights are still being challenged.

Transgender women are being murdered for no reason other than being who they are.


Yes, we achieved marriage equality, which is just one battle in the war that we are still fighting.

I began fighting for equal rights for the LGBT community in 1991, so please forgive me if I take a little time to celebrate a win.  I promise I will be back to work fighting for our entire LGBTQ community right away.

I've also included the list of demands from the 1993 March on Washington for those that weren't around yet or don't remember what we were fighting for back in 1993.

Platform of the 1993 March on Washington for

Lesbian, Gay, and Bi Equal Rights and Liberation

Action Statement Preamble to the Platform

The Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender movement recognizes that our quest for social justice fundamentally links us to the struggles against racism and sexism, class bias, economic injustice and religious intolerance. We must realize if one of us is oppressed we all are oppressed. The diversity of our movement requires and compels us to stand in opposition to all forms of oppression that diminish the quality of life for all people. We will be vigilant in our determination to rid our movement and our society of all forms

of oppression and exploitation, so that all of us can develop to our full human potential without regard to race, religion, sexual orientation, identification, identity, gender and gender expression, ability, age or class.

THE MARCH DEMANDS

1. We demand passage of a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender civil rights bill and an end to discrimination by state and federal governments including the military; repeal of all sodomy laws and other laws that criminalize private sexual expression between consenting adults.

2. We demand massive increase in funding for AIDS education, research,and patient care; universal access to health care including alternative therapies; and an end to sexism in medical research and health care.

3. We demand legislation to prevent discrimination against Lesbians,

Gays, Bisexuals and Transgendered people in the areas of family diversity, custody, adoption and foster care and that the definition of family includes the full diversity of all family structures.

4. We demand full and equal inclusion of Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transgendered people in the educational system, and inclusion of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender studies in multicultural curricula.

5. We demand the right to reproductive freedom and choice, to control

our own bodies, and an end to sexist discrimination.

6. We demand an end to racial and ethnic discrimination in all forms.

7. We demand an end to discrimination and violent oppression based on

actual or perceived sexual orientation, identification, race, religion, identity, sex and gender expression, disability, age, class, AIDS/HIV infection.

Platform Demands and Related Items

  1. We demand passage of a Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender civil rights bill and an end to discrimination by state and federal governments including the military; repeal of all sodomy laws and others laws that criminalize private sexual expression between consenting adults.

Passage of "The Civil Rights Amendment Act of 1991" (HR 1430 & S574).

Repeal of Department of Defense directive 1332.14.

Repeal of laws prohibiting sodomy, cross-gender expression (dress codes) or non-coercive sexual behavior between consenting adults.

Amendment of the Code of Federal Regulations to recognize same-sex

relationships.

Passage of the Equal Rights Amendment

Implementation of, funding for and enforcement of the Americans with

Disabilities Act of 1991.

Passage and implementation of graduated age-of-consent laws.

  2. We demand massive increase in funding for AIDS education, research, and patient care; universal access to health care including alternative therapies; and an end to sexism in medical research and health care.

The provision of responsive, appropriate health care for people with

disabilities, deaf and hard of hearing people.

Revision of the Centers for Disease Control definition of AIDS to include infections particular to women.

Implementation of the recommendation-of the National AIDS Commission

immediately.

A massive increase in funding for AIDS education, research and care--money for AIDS, not for war.

This money should come from the defense budget, not existing social services.

An increase in funding and research to provide an independent study of HIV infection in women, People of Color, Bisexuals, Heterosexuals, children, and women to women transmission.

Access to anonymous testing for HIV.

No mandatory HIV testing.

A cure for AIDS.

The development and legalization of a national needle exchange program.

Free substance abuse treatment on demand.

The redefinition of sexual reassignment surgeries as medical, not cosmetic, treatment.

The provision of appropriate medical treatment for all transgendered people in prisons and hospitals.

An increase in funding and research for chronic illness, including breast ovarian, and other cancers particular to women.

The right of all people with chronic illness, including HIV/AIDS, to choices in medical treatment as well as the right to end such treatment.

  3. We demand legislation to prevent discrimination against Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals, and Transgendered people in the areas of family diversity, custody, adoption and foster care and that the definition of family includes the full diversity of all family structures.

The recognition and legal protection of whole range of family structures.

An end to abuse and exploitation of and discrimination against youth.

An end to abuse and exploitation of and discrimination against older/old people.

Full implementation of the recommendations contained in the report of the Health and Human Services Task Force on Youth Suicide.

Recognition of domestic partnerships.

Legalization of same sex marriages.

4. We demand full and equal inclusion of Lesbians, Gays, Bisexuals and Transgendered people in the educational system, and inclusion of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender studies in multicultural curricula.

Culturally inclusive Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender Studies program; and information on abortion, AIDS/HIV, childcare and sexuality at all levels of education.

Establishment of campus offices and programs to address Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender students special needs.

The ban of all discriminatory ROTC programs and recruiters from learning institutions.

An end to discrimination at all levels of education.

   5. We demand the right to reproductive freedom and choice, to control our own bodies, and an end to sexist discrimination.

The right to control our bodies.

Unrestricted, safe and affordable alternative insemination.

An end to sterilization abuse.

That access to safe and affordable abortion and contraception be available to all people on demand, without restriction and regardless of age.

That access to unbiased and complete information about the full range of reproductive options be available to all people, regardless of age.

  6. We demand an end to racial and ethnic discrimination in all forms.

Support for non-racist policies and affirmative action.

An end to institutionalized racism.

Equal economic opportunity and an end to poverty.

Full reproductive rights, improvement of prenatal services, availability of alternative insemination for Lesbians and Bisexual women of color.

Repeal all 'English Only' laws and restore and enforce bilingual education.

Repeal all discriminatory immigration laws based on race and HIV status .

A commitment to ending racism, including internalized racism, sexism and all forms of religious and ethnic oppression in our communities and in this country.

An end to the genocide of all the indigenous peoples and their cultures

Restoration of the self-determination of all indigenous people of the world.

  7. We demand an end to discrimination and violent oppression based on actual or perceived sexual orientation/identification, race, religion,identity, sex and gender expression, disability, age, class, AIDS/HIV infection.

An end to anti-Semitism.

An end to sexist oppression.

An end to discrimination against people with disabilities, deaf and hard of hearing people.

An end to discrimination based on sexual orientation in all programs of the Boy Scouts of America.

An end to economic injustice in this country and internationally.

An end to discrimination against prisoners with HIV/AIDS.

An end to discrimination against people with HIV/AIDS, and those perceived as having HIV/AIDS.

An end to consideration of gender dysphoria as a psychiatric disorder.

An end to hate crimes including police brutality, rape and bashing.

An end to censorship.

Holiday Blues aka Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD)

DISCLAIMER: I am not a medical professional or a licensed mental health therapist!

While I have provided some of the best ways to treat the “Holiday Blues / SAD naturally, it must be understood that depression is a serious condition – if in doubt always seek professional medical advice.

Do the holidays get you down?  May gay men report feeling sad during this time of year, as the all-too-familiar pain of strained family relations and lack of an intimate relationship can come bubbling to the surface.  And with the shortened daylight, gloomy sky, and cold weather outside beckoning us to stay indoors, we can often become hermit-like, inviting feelings of loneliness and, ultimately, depression.  Even those of us who typically enjoy our alone time can feel that it’s just too much to handle at times, especially when we log onto Facebook and see others having great times at parties, gatherings, and other holiday celebrations.

What are the Symptoms?

There are several symptoms associated with SAD but here are the most common ones:

o Fatigue

o Unrealistic expectations

o Feeling bombarded by over-commercialization

o Strained relationship issues that surface when families get together

o Reminders of past losses of significant loved ones

o Sadness over the contrast between "now" and "then"

o Adapting to changes in family configurations and logistics for celebrating together caused by such new situations as divorce, marriage, blended families, adolescents who no longer celebrate the holidays as "children," and grown children establishing their own independent holiday traditions

o Financial constraints and demands

o The inability to be with friends and family

o Residue stress from unfortunate past experiences during previous holiday seasons

o Tension caused by the additional demands of shopping in holiday crowds, heavier-than-usual traffic, entertaining, holiday baking, long-distance travel, family reunions and/or houseguests

How to combat these feelings

Keep your expectations for the holiday season manageable:

Be realistic about what you can and cannot do-as well as what you want to do and don't want to do. Although the holidays often mean trying to fit a lot of activities into a short period of time, pace yourself and, to the degree it's possible, try not to place your entire focus on just one day (e.g., Thanksgiving Day, Christmas morning, New Year's Eve), instead, remember it's an entire season of holiday sentiment and that activities can be spread out (time-wise) to help increase enjoyment and lessen stress. Set realistic goals for yourself; make a list and prioritize

Limit predictable sources of stress: If you feel the annual trappings of shopping, decorating, cooking and attending social events risk becoming overwhelming and stressful, use discretion and limit the activities you commit to.

Remember the holiday season does not banish reasons for feeling sad or lonely: During the holiday season, there's room for feelings such as sadness and/or loneliness to be present along with other more joyful emotions. You may be feeling out of sorts and periodically out of sync with the season's "jollier" aspects. When you feel down, avoid critical self-perceptions, such as thinking of yourself as Scrooge and, instead, try to articulate the understanding you need from those around you. You might also consider seeking the help of a therapist to help you sort out your feelings and deal with the troubling issues.

Don't fall prey to commercial hype: Advertisers would like to have you believe that "if you really loved someone " you'd give him or her that expensive new gadget or piece of jewelry.  Recognize the ads and commercials as hype that manufacturers and stores have to do to benefit optimally from the season. You can show love and caring in lots of thoughtful ways which don't cost a lot and that make the holidays all the more meaningful and personal.

Get together with friends in any way possible:  As much as possible, share the holidays with friends and family members by phone, e-mail, and mail, as well as in person. The holiday season can also be a good time to contact someone you have not heard from for awhile.   Spend time with special friends and family members with whom you can reminisce and share stories and warm memories about your loved one.

Don't abandon healthful habits: Don't feel pressured to eat more than you're accustomed to just because it's the holiday season. And, since many of the season's parties and social gatherings include alcohol, be aware that excessive drinking will only contribute to or increase feelings of overwhelm or depression. Alcohol is NOT an antidepressant and, in fact, often worsens mood.

Make the time to get physical exercise: Exercising, for example, aerobics, walking, skiing, hiking, yoga, or swimming, can help burn away a lot of stress as well as the extra calories of holiday meals.

Remember that life brings changes: As families change and grow, traditions often need to adapt to the new configurations. While you can hold onto certain family rituals, for instance, a certain holiday activity or preparing a long-cherished family recipe, some traditions, such as everyone gathering at your house, may not be possible this year. Each holiday season is different and can be enjoyed in its own way. Don't set yourself up for disappointment by comparing this year's holiday season with the nostalgia of past holidays.

Engage in volunteer activity: Helping others is a pretty foolproof method of making the holidays feel more meaningful. There are many volunteer organizations that need extra help during this time of year.

Attend holiday community events: Most communities offer special events during the holidays, such as theatrical and orchestral performances, that can be enjoyable to look forward to and to attend.

Enjoy activities that are free: Financial strain can be the cause of considerable added stress during the holidays; however, there are many ways of enjoying the season that are free

Nightmare on Normal Street

Hillcrest’s one and only Halloween street party is taking place on October 25, 2014. Join us if you dare for a scare! This spooky celebration will take place on Normal Street between University Ave. and Harvey Milk Street. The events of the evening will include ‘fang-tastic’ live entertainment and spine chilling décor! New this year, Nightmare on Normal Street will feature an all ages fright zone and soda bar.

The evening’s chills and thrills include:

• Rich’s Night Club, Grand Stage with headliner Dj Nikno

• A costume competition

• Multiple fright zones brought to you by different local Hillcrest businesses

• Food trucks

• An over 21 area on the street and an all ages area

Tickets are on sale now and just $10 for general admission. Eat, drink and be scary with all you can drink “witch’s brew” and complimentary food with purchase of a $50 VIP ticket (must be over 21 to purchase). Proceeds for the evening will support the San Diego LGBT Community Center and the Hillcrest Business Improvement Association. Get your tickets at: http://fabuloushillcrest.com/events/nightmare-on-normal-street.

Or on Facebook search for Nightmare on Normal Street

Scott Carlson Thanksgiving Dinner

Thursday, November 27at 11:30am - 3:00pm

The San Diego LGBT Community Center

3909 Centre St, San Diego, California 92103

The Thanksgiving Community Dinner was started by HIV/AIDS activist Scott Carlson back in the early ‘80s to provide a communal gathering for people living with HIV/AIDS during Thanksgiving to share a meal and spend time with people who cared.  When Carlson passed away, the community banded together and continued this tradition.  In 2004, the Imperial Court, along with the First Unitarian Universalist Church, took over the lead role of securing the continuation of this wonderful tradition and named the event as the Scott Carlson Thanksgiving Community Dinner in his Carlson’s honor.

Balboa Park December Nights: Dec. 5 & 6 2014

Balboa Park December Nights, the nation’s premier holiday festival, will take place for the 36th consecutive year on Friday, Dec. 5, 3-11pm, and Saturday, Dec. 6, noon-11pm. As always, the event brings families and friends together to spread holiday joy, learn more about the cultural value of Balboa Park and kick-off the “most wonderful time of the year.”

Participating Balboa Park museums open their doors free of charge from 5-9 pm both evenings and more than 350,000 visitors are expected to experience the joy of San Diego’s largest free community festival. Those who attend will participate in a truly multicultural experience, enjoying food, music and entertainment from around the world.

Home For the Holidays   December 6^th  5-8 PM

'Home for the Holidays' brings our community together to dance, eat and celebrate our diverse holiday traditions with 'family' away from home. More than 20 community organizations will come together to put on a holiday celebration for the entire San Diego LGBT community and our allies. All are welcome. The event is free, but guests are asked to bring a new, unwrapped toy to support the Imperial Court de San Diego's annual toy drive. For more information, contact Carolina Ramos at cramos@thecentersd.org or 619.692.2077 x116.

“Alternative but sometimes useful therapies”

SEEING THE LIGHT!

The #1 recommended therapy to combat the holiday blues and SAD is light therapy.

That means different things to people in different parts of our country.

Here in San Diego we are fortunate to have some sunny fall and even winter days. 

TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THEM!

Light plays an important role in our health and the amount of time exposed to it affects our performance. As the sun begins to rise in the morning the light that makes its way through our eyelids is recognized by the pineal in our brain. This gland secretes a chemical called serotonin and reduces the production of a chemical called melatonin. Melatonin is the hormone that our body produces to help us sleep, while serotonin regulates our mood and energy. Serotonin and melatonin work together in managing important aspects of our physiology. Immunity, pain, digestion, sleep/wake cycle, body temperature, blood pressure, blood clotting, and daily body rhythms are all affected by serotonin and melatonin. The shortage of light in the winter is what affects our hormonal balance causing the wintertime blues. That is why it is important to expose ourselves to a good amount of bright light.

THE FOLLOWING SHOULD NOT BE TAKEN WITHOUT FIRST CHECKING WITH YOUR DOCTOR!!!!!!!

St John's Wort (Hypericum) Tincture

St John's wort is now commonly known as the alternative anti-depressant and is highly effective in combating some of the symptoms associated with SAD. The one you are most likely to come across is A.Vogel's Hypericum Tincture, of which it is recommended you take 20 drops twice a day with water. 

St John's wort contains hypericin, which "interferes with monoamine oxidase (MAO), which contributes to depression. Pharmaceutical products also act as MAO inhibitors, but St John's wort is a slow treatment, and, crucially, has few side effects."

It is also used to treat nervous depression and can help with sleep and your body's absorption of nutrients, helping to restore vitality and wellbeing. While it provides a generally safe alternative to drugs such as Prozac, side-effects may a affect a very small proportion of people including diarrhea and skin sensitivity to the sun.

Try SAM-e (S-Adenosyl-L-Methionine). This naturally occurring bodily compound helps produce and regulate hormones, including the neurotransmitters dopamine and norepinephrine; low levels of these are associated with depression. Dr. Howard recommends taking 400 to 800 milligrams daily. Brands that passed independent tests for potency, conducted by ConsumerLab.com, include GNC, Natrol, and NutraLife. St. John's wort, which has been touted as a SAD remedy, doesn't seem to be effective for relieving seasonal affective disorder, Dr. Howard notes.

Take a fish oil supplement with at least 600 milligrams of combined EPA/DHA daily.

Take 500 milligrams of vitamin C three to four times a day with plenty of water, and a B-complex vitamin.