tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-642324644529870706.post7979841825423785155..comments2023-11-02T05:33:49.232-07:00Comments on Citizen Kurt: So many thoughts, too much time on my handsAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03937296494890123999noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-642324644529870706.post-89483729749754245022009-10-23T09:28:05.347-07:002009-10-23T09:28:05.347-07:00I've totally felt this communication block and...I've totally felt this communication block and is something with which I've struggled too. I wanted instant gratification always in my relationships. I hated when my boyfriends would need 'time to cool down' or 'time to think' because I always wanted to talk and talk and talk and say everything that popped into my head until somehow that ended in us being ok again. Sometimes it worked and sometimes it didn't. A lot of them told me that my way was rather immature and I still don't know whether I should take that as constructive criticism or defend my right to be me. This is my current analysis, however:<br /><br />When I talk and ramble and don't want to stop fighting/talking/arguing it's because I myself am trying to work through everything in my head. As I talk, my thoughts become more organized as I try to argue my points. This reminds me of a very helpful technique I learned from a psychology professor long time ago. He told me that the most effective way of dealing with problems comes from organizing the mind. He recommended that a person spend an hour writing about a problem for three consecutive days. Simply write about the same problem again and again for three days. He promised that the writing would always develop something of a narrative as the person became more and more aware of the structure of the problem. As soon as the narrative formed, the mind is no longer confused and the order calms you down IMMENSELY. The truth is we're most upset by things we don't fully understand. If we feel like we have a grasp on things, we feel really ok even in the face of seriously difficult challenges.<br /><br />So back to you: the middle ground is the way to go. If you organize your thoughts and anger, you will still have the structure in place and know what needs to address, but you'll do so in a calmer way. Now that I wrote so much I might as well write my own blog entry using this haha.MMBrown7Lhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11646500243197794538noreply@blogger.com